We feel our friends will not listen to us. But in most circumstances we don’t take any initiative to have them listen to us because we are too scared to take the first step or rather we don’t know how to take the first step. We feel they wouldn’t listen to us and that could result in the friendship going sour. This is where maturity comes in and it becomes really important for friends to be on the same maturity level.
Your friends’ circles change because of changes in how well a person’s mind evolves. It’s like this, when Professor Xavier meets the mutant children and the mutant teenagers who have discovered their powers, he doesn’t call their evolved abilities as a curse. His first mission is to make them realize that they will need new friends who can accept them for who they are. Because they are evolved. That is why your friends change. You evolve and you seek an environment which suits your new found ‘gift’.
This is when you decide to leave your existing friends circle and find a new one. Remember Siddhartha (Buddha) left his family because he found Enlightenment? Similarly, you leave a company of friends when you understand some aspects of how the world works.
But remember, it is okay to go find new friends. They will understand you better because they are evolved. I wasn’t in touch with so many of my friends from PUC because they all wanted to do engineering and I chose another path. I stopped attending all the CET and COMEDK coaching so my interactions with them was reduced considerably.
Their immaturity was that they did not think beyond the point of engineering and more importantly they did not have the emotional capacity to validate whether or not they have the intellectual capacity to pursue it. I was one step ahead when I realized that I am terrible at mathematics and therefore engineering wasn’t for me.
Understanding Reality Between Friends
I remember my cousin Vikram telling me how his classmate from engineering calls him the previous night before the exam and requests his help to pass. Vikram said to me “There is no way one can pass engineering by studying the night before. You need to study everyday so you can pass”
Understanding Vikram was what made me different from the others. I realized and accepted I do not have the aptitude to study engineering. These are moments where you understand life. You realize something about yourself. This can be a good thing or a bad thing about yourself. It is all a matter of how you see it though. For me, realizing what I was not supposed to do was a good thing rather than not knowing what I wasn’t supposed to take up.
You will come to a point in your life where your circle of friends will change and this is beyond your control. By that I mean friends at the workplace. We are so used to sitting among the people with common interests but when we change to an institution where there are people from other backgrounds, it makes it very difficult for a person fresh out of university to get along with the people in a workplace because you are on unfamiliar turf.